I wonder about the end myself. I saw my father start his descent into dementia. Somewhere around Stages 5 or 6 he developed a perforated duodenum, was told he would need ventilation to become a surgical candidate (which he declined along with everyone else in the room; we'd seen it three times before), and was sent home to die 12 days later. Dementia is why we pray for our bodies to go before our minds. May your friend rest in peace.
Powerful story about your friend. I find those "what if it had been me" moments to be quite sobering. They create a feeling like all of the laughter that was in you just gets sucked out and you're left to ask your questions alone in that emptiness. It can take a while to fill up again.
Thanks! This was a few years ago and I’m not as shocked as I am perplexed. It was a very violent end, but then, I’ve seen first hand how violent Alzheimer’s can be to a family. There are just so many unanswered questions. Thanks again
Agreed - it seems that is a silver lining to your story. Maybe it was better for your friend to die there in the mountains that he loved. I think I might prefer that.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate the condolences but hardly feel worthy to accept them. I hope you’re right about his choices. I know you’re right about nursing homes, having seen my dad die in one—a very good one as nursing homes go. Thanks again.
I wonder about the end myself. I saw my father start his descent into dementia. Somewhere around Stages 5 or 6 he developed a perforated duodenum, was told he would need ventilation to become a surgical candidate (which he declined along with everyone else in the room; we'd seen it three times before), and was sent home to die 12 days later. Dementia is why we pray for our bodies to go before our minds. May your friend rest in peace.
Powerful story about your friend. I find those "what if it had been me" moments to be quite sobering. They create a feeling like all of the laughter that was in you just gets sucked out and you're left to ask your questions alone in that emptiness. It can take a while to fill up again.
Thanks! This was a few years ago and I’m not as shocked as I am perplexed. It was a very violent end, but then, I’ve seen first hand how violent Alzheimer’s can be to a family. There are just so many unanswered questions. Thanks again
Agreed - it seems that is a silver lining to your story. Maybe it was better for your friend to die there in the mountains that he loved. I think I might prefer that.
Thank you for the wisdom and nuance and how you question yourself and Greg.
Thank you Katie. It was all questions and no answers. Thanks for reading.
I believe it. Those can gnaw at a person.
I think your very last words are very wise. Some moral quandaries are best resolved by never having to deal with them at the pointy end.
Thanks Tony. I’ll never know what happened.
Oh wow,
My condolences.
Your friend met his end in a beautiful place surrounded by God's creation. I agree with you that it was probably his choice.
It's better than the horrors of the nursing home. He died like an old, undefeated buck, having done his part and ready to go.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate the condolences but hardly feel worthy to accept them. I hope you’re right about his choices. I know you’re right about nursing homes, having seen my dad die in one—a very good one as nursing homes go. Thanks again.